Woah.. I haven't blogged in months and tonight is just one of those nights I need to let out some feelings and stuff. My shrink is out of town so bare me on this one. It may not be the most pleasant of posts.
If you are reading this, you obviously care about me which I do appreciate. There aren't many people who seem to these days so I am glad you are one of them.
So it goes like this, the fourth the fifth, not really... That's a song... Anywho, There has been a LOT of Drama present over the past few months at the church I currently attend. For me, I wasn't really involved in the situation but I feel guilty. I have lost friends. I have become quicker to anger. And more importantly, it has changed the way I view a lot of things.
Recently, I have felt just plain left out and disregarded like the old version of a child's favorite toy. I don't know why? I have been told I am guilty by association but how is that fair? Should I be jealous that I don't get to be involved in what use to be "my clique" or group anymore? Is this a trick of the enemy? Questions I will be pondering for quite a while. I miss some people so much at times, it hurts. But I don't know how this will resolve if it will resolve.
BUT! There is good news. There are a few things I do know.
1) God is bigger than any person, any church, and any problem
2) A church is not about the people in it, it's about the big man upstairs and growing in a solid relationship with him.
3) In anger and chaos, people do things they regret but don't want to admit they made mistakes.
4) He makes all things new
I refuse to take a side in the situation but as a person who has heard mostly one side of the argument, I sympathize with the other side in that wrong doing was done in BOTH parties.
Please don't take this the wrong way, but I don't know what God has for me in the future. I have felt recently that maybe I need a change in scenery when it comes to where I choose to worship but my flesh would have a hard time parting due to some undisclosed circumstances. Praying on that one. We will see what happens.
I have been taking a summer Economics class online at a local community college to get ahead for next year's studies back at Tech. The class is not overly hard but I find the material so dry. It is hard for me to stay focused on something I'm not interested in which is weird for me because I am interested in sooo many different areas. Luckily, the class is only 5 weeks long so it won't be long before I am done and free again.
Everyone knows the saying (please excuse the foulness of the phrase but it needs to be said) "Bros before hoes" Wow have I found out that is not true. Friends will ditch you in a heartbeat to hang out with their ladys and won't think anything of it. I felt like I was wronged but after thinking about it, maybe I wasn't. One of the areas all Guys are interested is girls. I have never been too keen in that area. I have a few close female friends, some that don't even live near me, but other than that, I don't really do the dating thing. Call me whatever, but maybe that just isn't me? I believe (and hope) that the right girl will just hit me in face one day. We will see how that goes.
I am so ready for football season. This time of the year is always hard for me because I always feel deprived of sports. (sorry baseball fans) Ready to be in Lane!
Well.. I can't think of anything else to put here so until next time (which I hope will be sooner than later)
Stephen
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