My family and I (really just my mom and I) have been arguing more and more and I don't like it. Maybe I have spent too much time at home. I am definitely ready to go back to school.
Some more discouraging news: I was not approved to change majors like I wanted to. I have been crushed most of the evening. Disappointed in myself mostly in that I made this harder on myself by not choosing what I wanted to do the first time. I have been here calling myself a failure and how worthless I am because I may have no future but I beat myself up too much. I have no clue what it is, but God has a plan for me. And I really want to believe it is an amazing plan. This whole college process has not been easy for me. I am going to take the classes I intended to take and try to do really well so as to boost my GPA and then reapply after this semester. I graduated 8th in my class in high school. Above a 4.0 GPA and found school to be so easy. I thought I was going to program but I was dead wrong. If you judge a fish on it's ability to climb a tree, it will go through life thinking it's a failure. I just wish college wasn't about numbers and files and grades. It should be about learning.
Life is hard. But if was easy, would it be worth going through? It takes a strong person to take the hits and keep rolling. That's what I am doing.
I had no intention of using this as a personal stuff for everyone to read but whatever. I have never cared what others think. I have enough on my plate without that. I have a best friend that lives in California. and she amazes me everyday. maybe I can meet her someday. No one else makes me want to stay up til 7am talking on the phone.
I wonder if I should have gone to youth camp this week? I know I would have loved it but money, school, life; it just didn't seem right.
At least I get to have some fun tomorrow night with my best friends. I need it.
Can't think of anything else to add. So Peace Out Girlscout.
No comments:
Post a Comment